Your Life Will Be Happier When You Find Your People

The Mayo Clinic says, “Good friends are good for your life.” Multiple studies have proven that your life will be happier when you find your people.

Have you found your people? How many friends do you have? Do you know the difference between friends and acquaintances? We tend to cycle through friends during our lives. For example, you become friends with children in nursery school or kindergarten based on how your moms get along. Moms are the ones that set up the play dates, so naturally, they do so with mom’s that they like.

But, once you get a little older, you start to gravitate towards other children you like and ask your mom to set up a play date with a specific person. Thus, you begin your journey of social interaction. You make new friends as you join clubs or sports teams at school. You probably make friends on the bus or even in detention! Do these connections last? It depends.

How Do You Find Your People?

I was fortunate to find my people in grammar school. A group of us became chummy (there’s a word you rarely hear nowadays) and “hung out” daily at the basketball courts after school. Little did I know then that those same people would still be in my life today. Some of us went to high school together, but others branched out, and we all went to different colleges. Yet, we are best friends 57 years later. The group ebbed and flowed over the years (I lived in Chicago for ten years); however, our core group is still together. It is a true blessing!

According to an article on the website PsychCentral, there are four types of friendships. You can read details about them here: https://psychcentral.com/relationships/types-of-friends-must-friends-trust-friends-rust-friends-just-friends#types-of-friends.

• acquaintances
• social friends
• intimate friends
• the epitome of friends

Most of us have friendships that fall into each type. Some friends start as social friends and graduate to intimate friends. I think it is important to note that we cycle through friends. Based on what is emotionally happening in your life, you may only be able to handle having acquaintances. And that is okay. Light-hearted conversations with someone with no expectation of soul-baring is good occasionally. You can reap the benefits of feeling connected without the stress of revealing your deepest secrets.

Other times, you may need the epitome of friends to spill your inner feelings, knowing you are in a safe environment with no judgment. That is the beauty of having different friendships! Having friendships and feeling connected with others can have a significant positive impact on your life. That means that being a friend helps you while helping your friend too.

It’s Been Proven Your Life Will Be Happier With Friends

The Mayo Clinic website has an excellent article regarding friendship: https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/friendships/art-20044860. “Adults with strong social connections have a reduced risk of many significant health problems, including depression, high blood pressure, and an unhealthy body mass index (BMI). In fact, studies have found that older adults who have meaningful relationships and social support are likely to live longer than their peers with fewer connections.

Friends can prevent isolation and loneliness. They can also:

• Increase your sense of belonging and purpose
• Boost your happiness and reduce your stress
• Improve your self-confidence and self-worth
• Help you cope with traumas, such as divorce, serious illness, job loss, or the death of a loved one
• Encourage you to change or avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits, such as excessive drinking or lack of exercise

Who wouldn’t want all those benefits? The key to friendship is effort, and often life slips away from you. Have you ever regretted not keeping in touch with someone? It’s never too late! Go ahead and pick up that phone and reconnect. You may be calling your friend at precisely the time they need you.

I was texting with a college friend earlier today, and he mentioned that he keeps in touch with many folks from his past (myself included). He said he is typically the one that reaches out and keeps the friendships going. I say bravo to that! It’s not always easy to nurture friendships, but the effort is usually well worth it. Is there anyone you have lost touch with that you wish you hadn’t? Call them today and reference this blog post. It is the perfect “excuse” for you to call them.

Would You Like to be a Better Friend?

I found ten tips on being a good friend on the betterup.com website that I’d like to share:

• Check-in on your friends if you haven’t heard from them in awhile
• Let them know you’re grateful for their lasting friendship
• Be a good listener when they speak
• Celebrate their achievements and be supportive during their failures
• Be present when your friends need you the most
• Don’t hold their mistakes over them
• Show more empathy 
• Communicate with them honestly and openly
• Remember to laugh and bring humor into their lives
• Don’t be afraid to intervene for the sake of their health

When did you last do any of the suggestions above for a friend? If not lately, you may want to consider nurturing your relationships soon. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, my friends helped me immeasurably. They were fighting the Big C battle right alongside me. They boosted my strength and my morale and kept me in good spirits. I am so grateful to them for their support.

Good Friends Provide the Best Support

Between the Book Club Ladies, the Kevinites (grammar school friends), the Wednesday Mother’s Group, and high school and college friends, I never wanted for anything. I had rides to treatment and doctor appointments, dinner for my family, and motivational gifts galore! My sister’s friends even got in on helping me! And I was graciously invited to a group text chat of guys from Marist College. They made me laugh daily.

Speaking of guys, I also have a few lifelong guy friends. I met Michael in Mrs. Sedita’s third-grade class at St. Kevin. We reconnected at Marist College, as he went to an all-boys high school. I met John at St. Francis Prep when interviewing him for the school newspaper. The article was about the basketball team. While I may not see either of these gentlemen as much as I would like, when I do, it’s as if we were together the day prior. I treasure these friendships. Ditto for my two college pals – Patrick and Dave (or Ed-long story)

My Life Has Been Better Since I Found My People

Friends are everything to me. My girlfriends from grammar school are indescribable. The picture with the bride at the top of this blog is of Meghan, my friend Bernadette’s daughter. Meghan was married this past Saturday. She has called me Aunt Loretta her whole life.

The picture also shows Bernadette, Barbara, Ellen, and Christine. These ladies (along with Patti, Susan, Maureen, Suzette, Julie, Tina, Denise, and Suzanne) have shared their friendship with me over the years, and I cannot thank them enough. I feel very sentimental writing this and struggle to find the correct words to show my gratitude. Simply put, I love my friends.

Barbara even took things one step further by introducing me to her husband’s brother. We are officially sisters-in-law. Childhood friends that married brothers – crazy!

Be a good friend to someone or extend your hand and make some new friends today. It will make you feel terrific to find your people!

Thank you very much for subscribing to my blog. Please share it with a friend today. What effort do you put into your friendships? Kindly let me know in a comment below.