Three Ways To Handle Any Adversity You Encounter

Lately, adversity has been a frequent constant in my life. It seems to find me right after I have figured out how to handle the previous adversity. At this point, I believe I have become an expert. So, I will share with you three ways to handle any adversity you encounter.

Let’s face it, we all encounter adversity. No one lives a perfect life. There are many types of adversities. Some of them are traumatic such as the loss of a spouse/child, job loss, cancer or general health conditions, divorce, and homelessness.

Other adversities are tricky situations you need to figure out how to handle. For example, I had a friend who contracted chicken pox two days before his wedding. He and his fiance had to figure out how to handle that adversity; get married as planned or postpone? Family feuds are a type of adversity. My mother-in-law had a sister she didn’t speak with for years. How do you coordinate family gatherings? While these two issues are not as traumatic as a car accident that causes paralysis, they are nevertheless adversities for those impacted.

How to Handle Any Adversity

I believe the first step to handling adversity is acceptance. You need to acknowledge the challenge. That means you have resigned to adapt to adversity, not complain, and not play the victim. It is very easy to believe that someone else in your department should have been “right-sized” instead of you. Surely they should have let Jim go before you. Unfortunately, that type of thinking breeds resentment, which will not help your situation. You need to embrace this challenge and figure out how to move forward.

I was in total denial when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer. I didn’t believe it. No one in my family had ever had breast cancer, so it had to be a mistake. It could not possibly be true. Could it? I was a jumble of emotions inside, and it wasn’t until I was sitting in my Doctor’s office discussing treatment plans that I accepted it was true. It was a devastating day for me.

Oddly, it was also a liberating day for me. By accepting I had breast cancer, I could let the denial thoughts and the “why me” questions go and focus on moving forward. Okay, I have breast cancer, so what do I need to do? I needed to take action and not mope around feeling sorry for myself.

Resilience Helps You Handle Any Adversity

The second way I manage adversity is through resilience. According to the Mayo Clinic, “resilience is the ability to adapt to difficult situations. When stress, adversity or trauma strikes, you still experience anger, grief and pain, but you’re able to keep functioning — both physically and psychologically.”

Luckily for me, I am resilient by nature. I do not fall apart during a crisis. In fact, I have an innate ability to take charge in the middle of traumatic events. I was once in a serious accident and had to climb out the car window because the door wasn’t opening. I immediately began barking orders to those standing and gaping on the sidewalk.

One onlooker was instructed to call 911 (no cell phones at the time), and another to start directing traffic around the wreck. I took my girlfriend’s purse (she was in shock), found the truck driver that hit us, and exchanged insurance information with him before the cops even arrived. The following day I could not stop shaking. Every bone in my body ached, and I was covered in black and blues. It was crazy!

You Can Learn to be Resilient

It’s okay if you are not naturally resilient, as it is a trait you can learn. This informative article details how to improve your resiliency: https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/resilience-training/in-depth/resilience/art-20046311. It offers six tips on how to improve your resilience: 1) Get connected, 2) Make every day meaningful, 3) Learn from experience, 4) Remain hopeful, 5) Take care of yourself, and 6) Be proactive.

This is excellent advice! One of the first things I did when I learned I had breast cancer was chat with other women I knew who had it too. They offered me excellent suggestions, and I learned a lot from their shared experiences. I tried to identify at least one meaningful thing every day to help keep my spirits up.

My faith is solid, so it was natural for me to be hopeful. Besides following my medical protocol, I practiced visualization techniques and meditation and had a few Reiki sessions. I took good care of myself by learning these pain management techniques. Honing my resilience was key to successfully making it through my treatments and the after-effects they caused.

Remain Positive to Make Adversity Sting Less

The third way to handle adversity is to remain positive. This is a considerable challenge, especially if you are hit with a life-threatening disease. How can you possibly stay positive when your life might be coming to an end? I never promised handling adversity would be easy!

Firstly, you should never allow yourself to think your disease will kill you. Keep that thought, and those similar, out of your head at all times. I use the trap door method. Whenever I have a negative idea creeping into my brain, I slam my trap door shut and block it from entering. This visualization is quite effective for me. Please let me know if you try it.

If you have been reading my blog posts, you know I am a very positive person. My glass is definitely half full, and I look for the positives in every situation. No matter how dire the circumstances, I always find a silver lining. I recognize that not everyone has this capability, but anyone can learn it. It would be best if you had an open mind to change your thinking patterns and practice thinking positively every day.

Positive Affirmations Worked for Me

Are you familiar with positive affirmations? They are short statements you repeat to yourself over and over every day. Here are some examples:

• I can do anything I put my mind to.
• I feel strong and am getting better every day.
• I can handle any adversity that comes my way.
• I love my life.
• I am grateful for this opportunity to grow.

While you may initially feel silly when saying these positive thoughts to yourself, they will make you feel more confident, capable, and happy. Who wouldn’t want that?

One of the most challenging issues I faced due to breast cancer was the loss of my career. I had been a boss and led sales teams for over twenty years. And then I didn’t. It was hard for me to accept; it was even more challenging than having cancer. I honestly had no idea how much my identity was intertwined with my job. It was a very bitter pill to swallow.

Rekindling an Old Passion

As a result of losing my position, I have been able to dedicate time to writing. It has always been a passion of mine, but somehow became lost once I entered the Corporate world. Different opportunities presented themselves back then, and I followed the money path wandering away from writing. Having cancer brought me back to it. (a positive).

Are you currently facing adversity? How are you handling it? Can you share any advice that’s working for you? I no longer fear it. At this point, I have managed breast cancer, losing my job, being forced into downsizing a home, and having heart surgery. I’m not interested in welcoming adversity and time soon, but if God puts something else in my path, I feel confident I have the right tools to get through it.

P.S. The couple went through with their wedding despite the groom’s fever and spots on his face. Their photographer did a fantastic job of making all spots disappear in their photos!