Positively Enduring Cancer Treatments. Say what?

Trying to stay positive while undergoing treatment for cancer was quite a challenge for me. It was good that I was naive going into it! I was very afraid to google my diagnosis because all of my doctors had strongly recommended against it. They suggested I simply google the actual disease – Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. This way, I would access medical journals instead of blogs (such as this one). It was recommended I stay away from non-clinical discussions. I had a few pamphlets/books on breast cancer and that’s how I obtained most of my information. The internet scared me.

Some people thought I was crazy for not researching everything I could about my disease. I remember meeting a woman diagnosed with breast cancer the same week as I was. She kept researching cancer doctors and going for different opinions. Eventually, she found a doctor that prescribed what she had wanted all along so, naturally, she went with him. I suppose she did what was right for her. I immediately liked and trusted my doctor who, of course, came highly recommended. She proposed an aggressive treatment plan and I bought in right away. I vowed to myself that I would take it one day at a time and that I would keep a positive attitude. Little did I know at the time how difficult that was going to be.

Before my first infusion, I read the Chemotherapy pamphlet that listed all the possible side effects. Wow, was that a big list! I was the lucky recipient of many of them however, the worst, by far, was the debilitating bone pain. I remember one time I was laying on the floor in my bathroom in the fetal position rocking back and forth praying for God to take away the pain. It was excruciating! Suddenly, I remembered the pamphlet and all of the side-effects that were possible and I thought to myself, “well, at least I don’t have the symptoms of a heart attack.” There I was in my most awful hour looking for something positive! I actually laughed out loud because the whole scenario was just so unbelievable. After making it through that night, I knew I could make it through anything.

I experienced some very dark days during my chemotherapy treatments. But, I had my mom’s saying running through my head, “There’s always someone worse off than you.” I was fortunate to be surrounded by a loving family, great friends, and an incredibly giving community. I knew there were people praying for me daily. What about the single mom with no family fighting her disease alone? I had so much to be grateful for and I reminded myself of that every time the “why me?” question tried to take over my thoughts.

I did a lot of dreaming when I was sick. I watched HGTV pretty much all day long and dreamed of all the improvements we could make to our house. It was quite fun! I believe it scared my husband half to death but he politely nodded and humored me when I showed him what color I wanted to paint the living room. It was important for me to have things other than my cancer to occupy my brain.

There was a period of time when we were having dinners delivered to us three times per week. Even though I didn’t have the greatest appetite, I looked forward to seeing what people made for us. Many days I received cards in the mail or gifts and even restaurant gift cards. How can you not stay positive when you are surrounded by such genuine acts of kindness?

There are so many things that are out of your control when you are battling cancer. One of the things I could control was my attitude. Staying positive was my choice. It felt very empowering! I am convinced it helped me heal. I strongly recommend choosing positivity when faced with a serious illness. Do you think you could stay positive?