Lessons From My Daughter

My daughter and I have been quarantining in a quaint AirBNB in Pennsylvania for the past week. Due to Covid 19, her new job is requiring her to isolate for 14-days before beginning her position. I offered to tag along with her so she wouldn’t be lonely.

We are taking this very seriously. We arrived last Sunday and did our two-week supplies of grocery shopping. We came home, made a menu, (that we slapped on the refrigerator), and settled into our new abode.

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We have completed two puzzles and are more than half-way through “The Last Dance” documentary. Last night, we watched the movie Just Mercy. I cried like a baby when it ended.

Talk about an eye-opener! I highly recommend the film to anyone who is trying to understand and support the Black Lives Matter movement. Make sure you have a box of tissues when you watch it.

Erin and I do not venture out of the townhouse often. We have steered clear of humans and pets since we’ve arrived. The lady next door has a cute little dog she is always letting outside and she frequently sunbathes in her backyard. I avoid her.

It’s odd for me to not speak with random people (neighbors). I regularly strike up conversations with those I do not know. I am definitely feeling out of my comfort zone.

When the “coast is clear” I grab my laptop and watch a Catholic mass outside. There’s just something about attending mass while hearing the birds chirping and feeling the sun on my face. I have thoroughly been enjoying this part of my day.

We took a drive on Sunday to Colonel Dunning State Park. It was pretty bold of us to venture out in public! It was a gorgeous sunny day and the park was beautiful.

We took a hike and giggled every time we had to change course to avoid coming in contact with other hikers. The scenery was amazing on the drive there and the park itself was breathtaking.

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I am so enjoying this time with my daughter. She is twenty-two years old and extremely socially conscious. We have had great conversations about George Floyd, the protests, Black Lives Matter, and Covid.

Erin is wise beyond her years. She is not afraid to share her opinions and tell me where she thinks our generations differ. She has lots to share, and sometimes when she reflects on her childhood it starts to feel as if she is questioning my (our) parenting skills.

Still, her comments are provocative and thought-provoking, and if I can force myself to not take them so personally, I always learn something from them.

For instance, she loathes Corporate America after watching the long hours I worked, how many days I traveled on business and the fact that a Company could let me go during my cancer treatment. She says her Dad and I raised her to believe she could follow her dreams, and, unlike me, she was going to. She pointed out that I wanted to be a journalist but instead wound up in sales. Ouch.

We have had numerous discussions regarding white privilege. She’s shown me how naive I have been in regards to discrimination. I grew up in Queens, NY, and attended a diverse high school. Over the years, I have commuted to Manhattan. I have interacted with Blacks my whole life. Heck, Walt Frazier and Cleon Jones were my idols growing up and Luther Vandross was my all-time favorite performer. “Here and Now” was our wedding song.

I have raised my children to not see color. One of my proud mom moments was when my daughter told me she had a boyfriend and never mentioned he was Black. My son had playdates with Black and Hispanic kids when he was younger and playdates were a thing. Both of my children attended a diverse high school.

I have inadvertently thought we (as a family) were balanced. The truth is we have been living a life of white privilege all along. I have naively believed that the American Dream was available to everyone who was willing to work for it.

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When I was first discharged from the hospital after my bout with Sepsis, I noticed that the world seemed different. The trees seemed greener, the colors of the ocean were more vibrant and I saw things I’d previously ignored. It was as if I had a new set of eyes.

That is how I feel right now. It’s as if a light bulb has gone off in my head, and I suddenly can see the struggles Black people repeatedly go through. How could I have missed it? I’m embarrassed, I’m disgusted with myself, and I am genuinely sorry.

As a society, I thought we were past these issues. Based on everything I have read and learned these past few weeks, sadly, we are not.

My daughter has been pointing out to me injustices that have been happening all around us for years. She took Social Justice classes in college that made her aware of so many things that are wrong in our society. I am very grateful that she has been educating me while we have been in quarantine.

I believe Erin’s generation will be the change this country needs. As she says it, “We won’t take no for an answer.” She and her friends are intent on making good choices. They feel a responsibility to make the world a better place.

I never anticipated a two-week quarantine for Covid would turn into such an education for me as a citizen. By my own daughter, no less!

There truly are no words to describe how proud I am of her. When we part ways, at the end of this week, she’ll be heading to Nazareth Farm (https://www.nazarethfarm.org/) in West Virginia. It is a Catholic-based, self-sufficient farm that aids the elderly in the community with home repairs. She will personally be making a difference in people’s lives. All people.

My take-away from this is I know we are in good hands. I believe that George Floyd’s death has opened many eyes in America. Change won’t come quickly or easily, but it will happen because there’s a whole generation who will not take no for an answer. I thank God for that.

Have your eyes been opened?