How I’m Finding Clarity in Life After Having Breast Cancer

Crazy to be saying this but, I’m finding clarity in my life after having breast cancer. Four and a half years ago the disease turned my entire life upside down and caused me to question everything.

I wasn’t particularly seeking inward knowledge; however, having breast cancer allowed me to learn so much about myself. Are you interested in learning more about yourself?

My journey towards figuring out who I am after cancer has recently revealed a new world to me. I am excitedly learning new things about myself, and I am happier than ever. How can that be?

Although I don’t want to believe it, I am a senior citizen. You would think, by now, I would know who I am. Right?

If this sounds like a bunch of malarkey to you, I don’t blame you. It was my first reaction when challenged to get to know myself.

How could I not know myself? I mean, it’s me we’re talking about here.

The first step I needed to take to understand myself more was to be open to all encounters. You never know why someone appears in your life. What can you learn from them? Everything happens for a reason, make sure you explore those chance meetings.

Why Do You Do the Things You Do?

Are your rote habits based on things you like, or are they simply part of your routine? Sometimes we do things simply out of practice with no reflection on why.

I once read an article about recipe sharing from generation to generation. A family was famously known for their pot roast recipe requested for every potluck, church luncheon, and holiday celebration.

It called for a 5-6 lb Bottom Round Roast and Step 1 was to cut the roast into two pieces. The only reason the original cook did this is her pan wasn’t big enough to accommodate such a large roast!

I call this the Pot Roast dilemma as in, don’t be afraid to question something that seems a bit off to you. It’s how you learn.

You may figure out that you dislike some of your rote habits. Is there a more efficient way to accomplish them? Are they necessary? Do you even need to continue doing them? What would happen if you stopped doing them?

Becoming purposeful in your routines allows you to spend time doing the things that matter to you. You will become happier!

Nurture Your Relationships

When was the last time you spoke with so and so? Do you have friends from childhood? Have you made any friends recently? When your crowd gets together, do you typically organize it? Good for you!

How about family? Do you speak with your siblings often, or do you only get together with them on holidays? While families can be tricky at times, learning to navigate them and maintain relationships with them is a true blessing. The older I get, the more this becomes evident.

When a tragedy occurs, or you become ill, will your friends and family help you?

My ability to handle my breast cancer diagnosis and subsequent treatment was directly related to my family and friends’ support and my faith in God. I needed all hands on deck to get me to doctor appointments, cook for my family, visit with me and love me and my bald head back to health.

Who you surround yourself with determines the life you experience. Pay attention!

Do you have any high-maintenance friends that can suck you emotionally dry? Why do you continue to be friends with them? It’s okay for you to step away from toxic people. Learn to establish boundaries and you will feel so much better. I have learned it is not my job to be friends with everyone.

Hard Lesson to Learn

Shortly after finishing college, I bumped into a grammar school friend I hadn’t seen in years. She was working in Manhattan close to my job, and the two of us started to pal around together. It was a lot of fun at first to catch up with her and go out to eat. We quickly determined that we liked to hang out at bars and meet for happy hour after work.

It got ugly pretty quick for me. I started drinking way too much on work nights. My core girlfriends individually told me how this person was “changing me,” and not for the better. I finally got the message after about a year of terrible behavior and put some distance between us.

I completely lost touch with this person, and then last year, I heard from a mutual friend that she had passed away from alcoholism. There but for the grace of God go I had I not stopped hanging around with her. It rattled me to the core.

I wish things hadn’t turned out that way for her, but I am so grateful we were no longer friends. It was an extremely tough lesson to learn.

However, it has encouraged me to be more intent on nurturing good relationships and letting go of ones that aren’t serving me. I used to think that was being selfish. Now I understand it is part of living a drama-free life.

Be Open to New Ideas

Having breast cancer has made me more reflective of my life. I’ve done some meditation and started reading daily affirmations. I’ve become intrigued with manifestation. I’ve learned my true passion is helping others.

These newfound habits have encouraged me to slow down. I am experiencing a slight level of calmness. I wouldn’t say I am stress-free, but I am getting there.

I have to chuckle at myself as I used to think these habits were for those who were “Peace, Love and Frisbee” people. However, I’ve come to learn that tye-die is very chic these days!

My goal is to uncover who I truly am so I can purposely and confidently live a better life. I hope that you do not have to wait until a tragedy strikes for you to do the same. Please learn from my journey.

Life happens; we all know it. You have more control over it than you think. Why not take the time to get to know yourself better so you can fully participate in your life? Would you kindly let me know in the comments if anything in this post touched you?

P.S. Here is an in-depth article that highlights twelve ways you can get to know yourself better. I found it very helpful. https://daringtolivefully.com/self-awareness