Emotional Thoughts On Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Happy first Tuesday in October! I want to share my emotional thoughts on Breast Cancer Awareness Month with you.

As I am sure you know, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Or, as I like to refer to it, “Pinktober.” I am not a fan. This month fills me with anxiety.

So many things turn pink in October. It’s become a marketer’s dream!

Panera Bread has been offering a bagel in the shape of the branded Breast Cancer pink ribbon for twenty years now. They also sell Pink Ribbon eGift Cards. Have you noticed the pink balloons and banners currently outside many food chains?

Besides food, multiple retailers are offering pink-themed apparel and accessories. Some are allocating a percentage of sales to cancer research. You can find many of them here: https://wwd.com/fashion-news/fashion-scoops/breast-cancer-awareness-month-2021-fashion-beauty-brands-give-back-1234959267/

You would think that as a survivor, I would be encouraged by the awareness and donations to breast cancer research “Pinktober” yields. I want to be, but the whole month makes me stressed.

October Overwhelms Me!

Before I had breast cancer, I walked in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in New York City. I participated in a team formed by a childhood friend of mine who was battling breast cancer. It was a fantastic event attended by thousands of people.

Of course, everyone was wearing pink. It was a carnival-like atmosphere. Bands were performing, and vendors were handing out free pink merchandise. I would describe it as a joyous celebration. I was pretty impressed.

I realize now how clueless I was then about breast cancer. I have such conflicting emotions about “Pinktober” now that I am a survivor.

Shortly after finishing my chemo and radiation treatment, my doctor prescribed physical therapy for my arm since I had lymph nodes removed. She recommended a place that specifically catered to breast cancer patients. How cool; I never knew there were such unique therapy places.

The therapists were excellent, and I was able to regain all movement in my arm. However, walking into their facility on the first day was surreal. There were murals on the wall, posters, and framed photos everywhere of inspirational quotes regarding breast cancer. They made me physically nauseous.

It’s one thing to attend an event to support a friend but quite another thing when YOU are the person that needs the support. I was overwhelmed by this therapy place and seriously wanted to run out the door and never return. Thankfully, common sense prevailed over my fear, and I stayed.

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Acceptance Isn’t Easy

Learning to accept I had breast cancer was a big challenge for me. I’m still not confident I’ve entirely accepted it. I am sure that sounds weird.

No one wants to have breast cancer. It’s a disease that goes in remission because there is no official cure. Those of us who are fighting it or have had it always worry about getting it again. Recurrences are common.

Seeing pink and being reminded every day of breast cancer is highly overwhelming (at least for me). Yes, I know I am a breast cancer survivor. I think about it all the time. I don’t need a particular month out of the year to daily remind me of it. It is stressful and upsetting enough for me as it is.

It also makes me feel guilty. I feel like I should be grateful that all this attention is on the disease. As I stated before, I do want to be happy about all the pink fuss.

I just cannot, or maybe, I choose not to be? So many companies are capitalizing on “Pinktober.” Sure, they are donating a percentage of sales to charity; however, they are making sales due to the emotion attached to their product(s). Their profits are more significant than the monies getting donated to breast cancer research.

That just doesn’t seem right to me. Hence, I have such conflicting emotions surrounding “Pinktober.”

Thank you to those reading this who participate in events to support Breast Cancer Awareness month. I sincerely mean that, as I know your intentions are pure. Without you, cancer research donations would significantly drop.

So, please keep doing you!

Survivors Don’t Always Wear Pink

Have a friend or colleague who has experienced breast cancer? I ask that you be gentle with them this month. Please do not assume they want to don their pink baseball cap and participate in an event with you.

They may want to, but let that be their decision.

Everyone handles “Pinktober” differently. If, as a loved one, you need to do something to show your support this month for someone – ask them what they would like you to do. You may be surprised at their answer.

If I have offended anyone with my conflicting emotions here, I apologize in advance. I do not want to come across as some dirty ingrate.

There’s always a possibility that this is just a phase, and I’ll be coordinating my own “Pinktober” event next year. Who knows?

As of now, though, I will keep Tums in my purse and look the other way when the pink starts blinding me. And, I am going to pray November comes quick!

Can you relate to any of my crazy conflicting emotions, or do you disagree with me? Please let me know in the comments below. I always welcome your feedback.