Do You Respect Others?

One of the first things I learned as a child was to say, “please” and “thank-you.” It was important to my parents that I learn good manners at an early age. I liked having good manners. Is that no longer a thing? I am beginning to wonder if respect has been removed from the dictionary because it certainly appears to be missing in our society.

I worry about the world we are living in right now. I was so disappointed by the behavior of our Speaker of the United States House of Representatives at the State of the Union Address this week. Her behavior, throughout the President’s speech, was juvenile (eye rolls, a look of disgust, etc.). Ripping his speech in two was the most disrespectful thing I believe I have ever seen in politics. There is something called common decency, and clearly, the Speaker of the House had none. What does that say to everyone watching?

Is it okay for a student to rip a teacher’s test in two if they don’t like their grade? Should you destroy a speeding ticket because you are angry it was issued? Of course not! There are other options, like asking the teacher if you can do extra credit to bring up your grade or going to court and pleading your case to a judge to reduce the ticket. There are protocols in place that respectful people exercise in these types of situations.

What has happened to us? Why has it become okay to disrespect authority? I, for one, have taught and continue to teach my children the importance of being respectful. It maintains order, and it prevents people from bullying each other.

I started writing this piece a few days ago and stopped because I felt as if I might be touching on too sensitive a nerve, and I didn’t want to open up a political “can of worms.” However, today, after looking at my news feed, I decided I had to write about the lack of respect that’s become commonplace around us. It stretches so much further than the State of the Union Address incident.

According to the Wall Street Journal this morning, ” Two on-duty New York Police Department officers were shot in the Bronx within hours of each other over the weekend, in two incidents that police and city officials called assassination attempts.” This is disgraceful. It makes me sick to my stomach. Assassination? That is just wrong on so many levels.

“The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly. ” Sigmund Freud

I see disrespect everywhere these days! When was the last time someone held the door for you? Ever had a driver in front of you put down their window and toss garbage onto the road or fling their cigarette butt? Have you ever found yourself blocked in a parking spot because someone double-parked to run into Rite Aid? Or, how about having the overhead bin already full when you arrive at your seat on an airplane because people in the last rows already helped themselves to your bin space. All of these situations are distinct examples of disrespect.

The car garbage thrower is disrespecting our environment. The double-parker is disrespecting your time, and the bin thieves are disrespecting your personal space. People are continuously putting their own needs above others instead of exhibiting common decency. It makes me angry. How does it make you feel?

Why do people think it is acceptable to behave this way?

Well, if it is okay for the Speaker of the House to rip-up the President’s speech, then surely it’s okay to shoot at the police. Not. I know this is a huge exaggeration! I am just writing it to make a point. People in authority set precedents by their actions. While it may be inadvertent, others take this as permission to do the same. This can result in a very dangerous snowball rolling downhill. Even though we haven’t had much snow in NYC this winter so far, I feel surrounded by snowballs rolling downhill.

I wish I could wave a magic wand to change the level of respect we have for each other. I know that is not possible. But, change has to start somewhere, and it seems urgent to me that we need a change in our lives right now. I can only control what I can control, and that is myself. So, I intend to go out of my way to exhibit respect for others. I am going to hold the door, put back my shopping cart, and let someone go in front of me getting on the highway. I will find opportunities to show respect to strangers. I challenge you to do the same. Perhaps if we all lead by example, others will follow and the snowballs will start to thaw. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?

Photo credit: haynie.thomas36 on Visual Hunt / CC BY