A Tongue-in-Cheek Post on Meeting Your Demise

Warning: this post is silly. Do not read unless you need some fun in your life. This is a tongue-in-cheek post on meeting your demise and any regrets you may have.

I probably confused you with the Gandhi quote. Some things are not as they appear!

Would you have any regrets if you died tomorrow? For starters, it wouldn’t matter since you would be dead, right? But, let’s indulge ourselves. It’s twelve days before Christmas, so most of us are pretty stressed out by now. It’s the perfect time to be ridiculous.

Okay, I’ll start. My biggest regret (if I died tomorrow) is I was never skinny. I believe I was born in the wrong generation. Millennials accept and love their bodies as is. I always wanted to be thin, yet I never put the fork down, so I guess I didn’t want it bad enough.

Luckily, it’s not too late, though. If I get cremated, I will finally have a smokin’ hot body!

Regrets When Meeting Your Demise

In no particular order, here’s a list of regrets I’d have if tomorrow means ta-ta:

• Never made it to Montana.
• Never got my dream car – 1963 red/white convertible Corvette
• Never had rythm
• Never took singing lessons
• Never could walk in high heels

I always thought I wanted these things, but now I’m feeling a little differently.

While I have never been to Montana, I started watching Yellowstone. Mission accomplished. Seriously, the scenery in that show is incredible!

Besides millionaires, the only people that drive their dream car are old. Trust me, driving that Vette today with my wrinkles is not a good look. I’d have to be thin, blond, and young to look right in that car. Game over!

I am white, so having rhythm has never been in the cards for me.

High heels are for models and hookers. I am neither. That is, I’ve never been the latter. (Unless you count Halloween of 1996.) I already admitted to never being thin, so Kendall Jenner need not worry about me.

In my book, the fact that I don’t wear orthopedic shoes is impressive. High heels never worked for me. Thank goodness “booties” are trendy now.

I rarely “hung” out with musicians, which limited my access to live music. Why learn to sing if you are never going to be the lead singer? I suppose I could sing the National Anthem at the World Series…yeah, right. Maybe in my dreams!

Did you see what I did there? I just made my regret list insignificant. See how easy that was? What are your regrets? Have you ever thought about them?

“Always go to other people’s funerals. Otherwise they won’t come to yours.”

Yogi Berra (Baseball player)

A hospice nurse who tended to the dying for many years always asked her patients if they had any regrets. She noticed that many people had similar responses, so she compiled a list of the top 5 regrets dying people expressed. https://www.neil.blog/articles/the-5-greatest-regrets-of-the-dying-and-how-to-avoid-them

• I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
• I wish I hadn’t worked so hard
• I wish I had the courage to express my feelings
• I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
• I wish that I had let myself be happier 

Pretty interesting, don’t you think? These regrets are much more reflective than mine. I made mine light-hearted for this post. However, the writer in me had to research regrets. I am glad I found this article and list to share with you. Perhaps we should all think about these in the new year?

Or, we can just stick to the absurd regrets and continue to laugh about them. That is, after all, the intent of this article.

That Voice Inside Your Head

Have you ever looked at someone and thought…

• I wonder if that man knows about hair implants? Comb overs are so 1990’s!
• I wonder if the woman picking her nose in the car next to me knows I can see her?
• Remember when Nick Jonas performed with food stuck in his teeth? Should I let my boss know he reminds me of Nick right now?
• I wonder, should I tell the man standing in the bus that his fly is open?
• When you see a booger hanging from someone’s nose, should you tell them?

My general rule of thumb if placed in any of the awkward situations above is to definitely inform the person. Well, maybe not the first two, unless you know them. But, definitely tell someone out in public that there’s food in their teeth, their fly is open, or there’s a booger visible in their nose.

These rules obviously do not apply if you do not like the person. If that’s the situation, you have to let them rock their embarrassment!

I hope this little ditty was a pleasant diversion today. I’ll get back to my usual programming next Tuesday. Please leave me a comment and tell me some of your regrets below.